Paranoid Plateau    复制

帽随风吹渐飞扬
雨打垂须泪汪汪
骄阳已随灰云去
五指左前盼朝阳

飞虫夜半惊梦乡
嫦娥破镜壁后藏
蔼然若夏眉宇闲
霓虹高曳心头亮

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
how many times must the cannonballs fly
Before they’re forever banned?

how many opportunities must I choose to leave
Before chinese football forever fade out?
how many opportunities must I choose to leave
Before my mind forever fade out?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind

-------------------------------------------------------revised from Bob Dylan.

很久没有写文字了，时不时地想起，最终手指却会迷失在鼠标的左右键。总愿意把这一切归结为浮躁二字，认为浮躁的生活牵引着浮躁的思绪，进而渗透浮躁的身躯。总愿意把这些年的生活映射到Desolation Row，愿意把自己一切的不堪归结为这Hanging的社会。可今晚我重新敲打着键盘，反思着，思考着，似乎要寻找到真实的答案。

------------------------------------------------------

刚从多哈的愁绪中飞回，遥想看球这么多年，今天应该算是一个为数不多的苦闷之日，于是想写文以祭球，一来跟若干年前的卡塔尔惨剧之文对应一番，二来可以反思下自己最近几年的苦闷思绪。想来想去，发现中国足球虽有至爱，但其毕竟具有延续性，郝海东歇菜后还有李金羽，李金羽退役后还有韩鹏，他们每个人都有自己的理想，理解串联着足球的未来。可我自个儿的混沌的思绪却没有延续性，浮躁带走了年华，年华空白露沧桑，于是，越想越担心，生怕陷入荒芜。为了自己，决定尽力保持文笔的活力。因为，只有这样，才能在平静中沉淀思绪，清洗自己。

希望能有所延续。

Wind, lift me up.

I wanna give up.

椿萱并茂，兰玉联红

红豆出岭，栀子花开

看着过往的文字，听着李健的梦一场，琴弦低吟，思绪万千，这若干年仿似梦一场。

许久没有正式写字，想着那时的矫情，偶尔流露的娱乐，亲切万分。就像似曾相识的芬芳。

有时也会打开博客，随着思绪，敲打一下，只是随着思绪游走，便敲不下去。

总感觉它被切成了一片一片，自己却总不能心静如水，于是它越飞越散，抓不到，碰不着，剩下的只是支离破碎的草稿。

归根结底是这浑浊的情绪，有时总想细心拨弄，安抚，可发现却是愈发浑浊。

于是，开始叮咛自己，撕掉所有的面具，撵破所有的薄纱，找回自己。

渐渐地发现，这是个旅途，一个伴着心灵的旅途。

没有清澈的水，没有翠绿的山，只有那过往的一天天。

有欢声，有笑语，有迷惘，有悲伤。看着这拉过的一幕幕，止不住忧伤。

走近，抚摸，却是一粒粒荧珠游荡，伴着忧伤消散在远方。

得不到的总是最美的，最美的总是最容易丢的。最爱回味的总是那份情怀，最感到忧伤的也总是这份过往。

路渐渐走到了尽头，幕色渐渐褪去了色彩。周遭没有了迷雾，也没有了扰人的声响。

轻轻地坐在幕旁，聆听着自己发出的声响，

渐渐地，水珠冲破了幕布，冲走了声响。于是，银雾渐起，模糊了眼框。

悄悄地站起，注视着远方，初春的阳光敲打着迷惘。

终于，学会了闭紧双眼凝望。

只是，发现真实的自己就坐在身旁。

听着梦一场，活着梦一场。

爱是一个圈 
首尾总相见 
轮回转出希望团圆在眼前

爱是一段缘 
快乐被传染 
是谁清晰了幸福左右陪伴

不能控制的思念 
不会表达的语言
月圆的时候 
家最温暖  
想哭 
家最简单

一天 
一天 
寒冬已走远 
终于迎来全家的团圆

春天 
夏天 
秋天 
冬天 
严寒过后又是另一个春天

I think i'm drowning
asphyxiated    
i wanna break this spell
that you've created 

you're something evil
a contradiction
i wanna finish the game
and kill the friction 

But you will be the death of me 
you are just the death of me

bury it 
i wanna bury it
i wanna smother it 
i wanna murder it 

I hope it is running out 
and I hope the time is running out

But I can't push it underground  
I can't stop it screaming out 

I wanted freedom 
but I'm restricted
I tried to give it up 
but I'm addicted 

Maybe you know i'm trapped 
sense of elation 
I know you'll never dream of 
breaking this fixation 

you will squeeze the life out of me
til it run out.

一直以来都把中秋扔到很远处，认为它算不上什么重要节日，

无非是吃下月饼，看下月亮，古人所谓的寄托乡思/相思，从未感觉到。

今年是彻彻底底的一个人过中秋，没有家人，没有朋友，甚至整整一天身边几乎没有第二个人，

看着零星的中秋祝福短信，渐渐有了种“出户独彷徨，愁思当告谁”的惆怅。

傍晚，竟听到窗外阵阵的礼炮声，顿时想象出“举杯邀明月，对影成三人”之情形，

于是，慢慢地走进月亮，呆呆地张望，想着远方。

“举头望明月，低头思故乡”

唉，希望明年中秋不再惆怅。

--------------------------------------AIR SUPPLY
I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers 
And I know just how to lie 
I know just how to fake it 
And I know just how to scheme 
I know just when to face the truth 
And then I know just when to dream 

And I know just where to touch you 
And I know just what to prove 
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose 
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time's gonna fly 
And I'm never gonna tell you everything I've gotta tell you 
But I know I've gotta give it a try
And I know the roads to riches 
And I know the ways to fame 
I know all the rules and then I know how to break'em 
And I always know the name of the game 

But I don't know how to leave you 
And I'll never let you fall 
And I don't know how you do it
Making love out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all 
Out of nothing at all 
Making love out of nothing at all 

Everytime I see you all the rays of the sun 
Are streaming through the waves in your hair 
And every star in the sky 
Is taking aim at your eyes like a spotlight
The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost
And it's looking for a rhythm like you 
You can take the darkness at the pit of the night 
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright 
I've gotta follow it 'cause everything I know
Well, it's nothing 'till I give it to you 

I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
I can make all the stadiums rock 
I can make tonight forever 
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn 
I can make you every promise that has ever been made 
And I can make all your demons be gone

But I'm never gonna make it without you 
Do you really wanna see me crawl 
And I'm never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all 
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all 
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all 
Out of nothing at all

------------------------------------------The Monkees
I wanna be free,
Like the bluebirds flying by me
Like the waves out on the blue sea.
If your love has to tie me, don't try me,
Say good-bye.

I wanna be free,
Don't say you love me say you like me,
But when I need you beside me,
Stay close enough to guide me, confide in me,
Oh-oh-oh

I wanna hold yur hand,
Walk along the sadn
Laughing in the sun,
Always having fun
Doing all those things
Without any strings
To tie me down.

I wanna be free,
Like the warm September wind, babe,
Say you'll always be my friend, babe.
We can make it to the end, babe,
Again, babe, I gotta say:
I wanna be free
I wanna be free
I wanna be free

半年时间走不出一个涡旋

在给自己半年时间

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Find A Home (New Forest Shaker)
Delays
 
One more year of digging here 
And we’re alight in heaven; we’re alight in heaven
If we bare the stones and stares
Then we’re alight in heaven, we’re alight in heaven,
 
Mother says to hold our tongues; we are the chosen ones,
And we answer to no one,
 
Same dream I’m always having,
Like shivering, shivering, shivering…
 
Find a home amongst the trees, 
Bend your branches over me,
Find a home, defy the freeze,
Dance around the rosaries…
 
Faith alone must clear this snow 
Or we’ll have doubted heaven; we'll have doubted heaven
It’s finisterre for dancing bears
If we have doubted heaven; we have doubted heaven
 
Everyone I left behind, they think I left my mind under Mesmer, sola fide
Same dream I’m always having,
Like shivering, shivering, shivering…
 
Find a home amongst the trees, 
Bend your branches over me,
Find a home; defy the freeze, and glow,
                                    
Find a home…
 
Oh I can row, I can row, I can row back home,
Or we can lay, we can lay, we can lay in Sway,
 

有时候我会惆怅，有时候我会迷茫，有时候我会怀疑过往的一切，有时候我会向往天亮。

因为夜晚的光总是灰蒙蒙的，因为过往的伤总是鲜嫩嫩，因为皎洁的月光照的让人神伤。

于是开始怀疑夜的漫长，怀疑月的廖亮，怀疑过往的真相。

就像总爱把惆怅寄托于这虚拟的纸张。

留给自己在深夜读尽忧伤。

总是这般矫情，总是这般迷惘，总是疑似绝望。

如果时光流转，也许是另一番模样。

彻底毁容了，满脸的小米大小的痘，到底是正常的药物反应，还是药物过敏。。。

吃激素那几天还一点事儿没有，如今，针都不打了，竟然出来了。。

维生素应该不会过敏

弥可保，理疗？

搞不懂。。。 确实跟过敏一样。。。

也有可能是神经生长导致脂溢。。那为啥身上没有。。

反正不是啥好兆头。。

还得去医院。。。。